I came home from dinner with friends and swiped my face with my makeup remover while looking at my door mirror. After using one wipe, I had to use another one because it just wasn’t enough to take out my makeup between my eyes and the corners of my nose and just everywhere. I decided to look into my magnifying mirror.You know the one that you use to tweeze your eyebrows. While looking at my face, I couldn’t help but be disgusted at myself. Disgusted of my scars, large pores, and blemishes. Disgusted that I pack my face with so much makeup. I remember thinking“Why me? How come I still have this? I’ve used every product but it’s still there. When am I going to get clear skin?”
After that moment of self criticism, I took my SLR camera and took a photo of my face. Front, side to side, forehead, chin, and a zoom on my cheeks. I reviewed the photos on my laptop and saw just how ugly my face was. I hate to say it but it’s the truth. I saw my pores on my cheek and nose. They were so large! You can even see the white heads or oils about to seep out! I saw the redness on my acne. I saw the scars on my temples. I started to hate myself for pricking them with my fingers.
I went back to the magnifying mirror and just stared at myself.“Sarah, your whole face is filled with acne. There’s no more room except your eye bags and eye lids. 7 years.” That was the moment I just hated my actions for not doing the right things. I wish I had taken better care of my skin. I wish I had listened to my own advice and my mom’s. However, I was so stubborn. And as of that, I am living with 7 years of scars and acne.
I’m trying to better myself every day. It’s been a long journey and because it’s been 7 years, I know my acne won’t disappear in a day. It’s going to take years to make this go away. And today I’ve chosen discipline. I am going to discipline myself to eat the right food, discipline myself to wash every day and apply cream, and to not wear makeup as much.