This quote is hard to accept when all you see in Cosmo, Instagram, Twitter, and Vanity are these flawless women with perfect complexions and perfect bodies. Where do you turn when everything around you is applauding perfection? You turn to Faith and you pray. Luckily for me, my faith is something I don’t just talk about; it’s something I put into action on a daily basis.
I feel like I’m going through this so I could learn to be humble, so I could see myself and others passed their insecurities, so I could lift people up. I was put on this earth for a purpose – to love others and I can’t do that unless I love myself. I’m not ashamed to say I don’t have a lot of love of self. I’ve done a lot of things willingly that I am not proud of, but I have no regrets because one way or another I learned a lesson, and I’m still learning lessons about love.
At a very young age, I wanted to love. I wanted someone to love me from the bottom of their hearts like I loved them. Unconditionally, without boundaries, however not everyone is like me, and boys just want to play games and I was looking for love in all the wrong places.
At 22 I spoke to a woman I met at a poker game she told me that everyone has these cups filled with an abundance of love and what I was doing was giving everyone a sip and everyone’s cup was still full. So what does that tell you? I was dying of thirst while everyone was drinking my abundance. Do you think anyone ever asked me if I was thirsty? NO. They took and took but I’m the one to blame because I was quick to give and give because I was delusional about what would happen.
I naively thought maybe if they see me keep trying, they will see I’m all about them. I can proudly tell you, I’m all about myself now, I’m going back to school, I have an amazing job. I'm planning to keep it that way for the rest of the year.