May 19, 2017
I always had a passion for skincare and found the whole idea of skin issues and problems interesting – so much so I was considering becoming a dermatologist. My brother has suffered from pretty bad eczema all his life and I would always be the one finding different products and remedies that could help his skin. I realized skin played a massive role in how confident you are and how comfortable you felt being you. When I started to get puberty spots, I started creating my own skincare regime and it worked well.
I researched products thoroughly before I bought them. I took pride with the fact I knew so much about skin and what different products contained, what different products did etc. My friends and family (even my parents) would ask me for any recommendations for their skin. I knew how to take care of my skin and even other peoples. Before I had teen acne, when I just had the odd few spots, I was confident and happy. When I started developing mild acne I still felt the same - I knew people like my brother who had suffered from bad skin his whole life had to get on with it, be confident and not complain – so I felt as though it was silly for me, especially when compared to him, to get upset over some spots. As time went on my teen acne grew worse, even when put on antibiotics, but I still felt as though my issue was
As time went on my teen acne grew worse, even when put on antibiotics, but I still felt as though my issue was petty. On the outside I hadn't changed: appeared confident and happy. But, deep down I knew that I wasn’t. I noticed little things I had changed - I wouldn’t look in the mirror when I didn’t have makeup on, I wouldn’t use Snapchat as I didn't want to look at my face, I started to not go to social events because I thought people would judge my skin and I didn’t feel pretty with the texture that could be seen, even when I was wearing makeup. This brings me onto my other point, I always loved makeup too, but now I didn’t want to put it on – it didn’t look nice: I had to up my foundation coverage which made my skin look cakey, nothing sat right on my face and I felt as if it was more of a chore now (when before I did it for fun). It also didn't help that pretty much everyone around me had clear skin, so I did feel alone and ugly. After spending so much time and money on skincare it was disheartening that I wasn’t seeing results, I wanted to give up and thought to myself 'this is just how I am going to look now'. I wasn’t the biggest selfie taker before but when looking through my camera roll I noticed there
After spending so much time and money on skincare it was disheartening that I wasn’t seeing results, I wanted to give up and thought to myself 'this is just how I am going to look now'. I wasn’t the biggest selfie taker before but when looking through my camera roll I noticed there weren't any pictures of me for 4 months. I would take pictures with my friends for the memories and one of my favorite things to do was to scroll through my camera roll and look at them all. It was obvious I wasn’t happy, confident or comfortable. I hated what had happened to me mainly due to the fact I lost my dream of becoming a dermatologist as I felt as though I couldn’t save my skin anymore and the fact I felt embarrassed when I was bare skinned in front of my own family.
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