Acne has become a part of who I am!
That statement makes me cringe up whenever I say it out loud. Of course, it’s a self-esteem issue that I know every girl faces in their lifetime. I have come to realize that throughout my life I have learned to live with it. To think that I will be 29 this year and still have scars from previous acne products and endless nights in front of the mirror trying to ‘pop’ the zits. Still, like clockwork when it’s that time of the month I get a panic attack because a new zit pops up! At age 29?! I remember being in college, I think maybe it was my sophomore year.
My dad took me and my sister to Indianapolis for spring break. I had been working a part time job and barely able to afford Proactive when at the mall I met a Kiosk girl, selling some type of Dead Sea product promising to banish my scars and rejuvenate my skin. Trying to listen to her 30-minute presentation of this product and calculating the expenses in my head. I thought, what the heck I’ll quit my monthly Proactive subscription and buy this new Dead Sea product.
Well, worst decision of my life! That summer I came home from school and my face had had the worst reaction to this product. My face looked like it was burnt, new scars were forming, my skin had become super sensitive to even water. I had officially hit rock bottom. I became depressed. Not eating, or going out with friends. Even at work, it was hard for me to get up and show my face; it looked awful. I would cry myself to sleep every night.
How could I have let myself be made a fool from these stupid products? I didn’t want to go back to school that fall. I felt so lonely and ashamed of my face. What had I done to deserve this awful face? How would I ever get that perfect, flawless face? No one will ever want to be with me or let alone be my friend if they saw me. All my friends were turning 21 and having a good time. I was hiding out in my room scared that if anyone saw me they would just never stop staring and asking questions. I would never again feel good about myself. I would never feel ‘pretty’.
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