HOW MY "RED" FACE CAUSED ME HEARTBREAK

By Kathy

For the longest time, the only thing I could ever connect my face to is the color red. I hated the color. It was the color that put me through heartbreaks and being the victim of bullying of people who looked nothing like me. I lost a lot of hope in myself and couldn’t look people in the eye when we talked because I felt their eyes trail across the bumpy surface of my face. I couldn’t look at myself in pictures and I wanted to break the mirror every time I see myself in it. What a painful experience a person has to endure with a thing that is supposed to be normal. Everywhere I looked, I couldn’t find people who looked like me. The color red never followed them, only me did it follows. 

People of all ages would look at me and connect me to nothing else but the redness on my face. The abnormalities of my skin and the reason why I didn’t look like a real person frightened their world. Having acne is something so emotionally painful that people who have clear skin cannot understand the hurt that is felt when they ask about your face. I look up and ask why have I been cursed like this? But the response is never there.

Having acne is something that makes you seem different from the world. Those who don’t have to undergo the experience of having these scars cannot possibly understand why my face is the way it is. As a kid, I was seen as a monster. I was seen as a person who did not clean herself well enough and that was the reason why my face is the way that it is. The scars represented an illness that was contagious and no one wanted to be friends because even the slightest contact would get them affected too.

Experiencing acne is something I have yet to overcome but have come to have confidence in. I love the color red and the color pink. It’s something that gives me confidence in myself. The lack of makeup on my skin makes me feel free, although my scars still show, there is nothing better than believing in yourself and living life the way you want to live it. Whether people look at me differently or not because of my acne, I have to remind myself that it is something that is normal and that I am not the only one that is experiencing it. Experiencing Acne has given me confidence in myself.